I wish I knew just what to say to you...

I don't have answers for anyone because I think all situations in life, as similar to anothers as they may seem.. are always unique. Being surprised with unwanted news and events that turns your world as you know it completely upside down, is never something we instantly know how to deal with. The other day I was having a conversation with a guy who said a lot of things that stuck with me.. One is that no matter what we are dealing with, no one can ever take away our freedom of choice. Most of the time we don't choose what happens to us but we choose how we react and handle the situation. I have not always handled situations the way I look back and wish I would have (hardly ever do I look back and not want to change something) but I learned from it and I move on and try harder the next time. Ive learned over the last year or so that the more chill I am about the situation, the more I get what I want.

When my ex and I split up, I was heart broken over the reasons why. I could feel myself dying, and I literally thought I might. I used my words to try to hurt him back, it didn't work! I just got hurtful words back that made things so much harder on myself. It took a long time but the second I decided to be happy and move on with my life, I got the reaction from him I had been looking for, I finally saw sadness in his eyes. A functional relationship started to form and for once I could see that he finally knew he screwed up. To0 late!! I had finally found comfort in being alone and he could see it. I got all the apologies and tears of regret from him I ever wanted. It has changed the way I see relationships of all kinds and if I thought for a minute that I was safe back in that relationship, Id go for it.. Many clients have sat at my desk and listened me have conversations with my ex about our kids schedule, money etc.. and the second I hang up they say "that is awesome you guys can talk to each other like that". Its not always that way believe me and it takes time to get there... I have my moment thats for sure! But all things aside.. I know that when my kids are older, I want MORE THAN ANYTHING, for them to look back and be able to see that although the marriage didn't work... we put problems aside and got along for them.

We all have strength.. I have no more than anyone else.. you just gotta dig in and find it!

"When the evening rolls around, I go on home and lay my body down.. And when the morning light comes streamin it, I get up and do it again." - Jackson Browne

I love the emails and facebook messages I have been getting about my posts.. so feel free to keep 'em coming..

briannesitterud@mac.com